


i still love you, but it's over.

by HighWarlockOfBrooklyn



Series: the malec mixtapes. [3]
Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29400852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighWarlockOfBrooklyn/pseuds/HighWarlockOfBrooklyn
Summary: Coming back to his loft after walking away from Alec seemed to be more unbearable than Magnus had anticipated.
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: the malec mixtapes. [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2159826
Kudos: 7





	i still love you, but it's over.

**Author's Note:**

> Click on the title below to listen to the mixtape.

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ [i still love you, but it's over](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1w6SWTdz0ggX7XfmpW3RmU?si=c3Z2yJKQT5GTf_maZ5XPTw)

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ 0:35 ──o───────── -4:23

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ⇄ ㅤ ◃◃ㅤllㅤ▹▹ ㅤ↻ㅤㅤ

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It wasn't until he came back home the next day did it truly sunk in what Magnus had done, what Alec had done to drive Magnus to do what he did. Did he really walk away from someone he loved? Someone who actually loved him back the way he did, perhaps even more? This has never happened before, he's never done this before despite all the centuries he had lived and all the people he had loved. He has dumped people before, even ghosted them when the situation calls for it, but never when he loved them. He was fiercely loyal, he always stayed until they let him go, or when they no longer have the right to his heart, or until death takes them away from him.

It was easier to put an end to something already falling apart to rot and ruin, not when something was still shiny and beautiful and the latter was exactly the kind of love that had been growing between him and Alec. Magnus loved Alec. He had been sure of that even if there was a much longer state of confusion on both ends. He still loved Alec when he told him that it was over between them. He still loved Alec even now, he was certain of it, otherwise he wouldn't be hurting this much. 

He sunk into his sofa and felt the prickling heaviness in his heart course through within him. There were no tears to be shed, not even false smiles or laughter to convince himself that he was doing fine, that he was going to be fine. Magnus just felt nothing. This was a situation he didn't like to be in, a feeling he didn't like to be feeling. He didn't like how a Nephilim would have that kind of power over him. But then again this was Alec, he wasn't just any other Nephilim. He had encountered the whole lot of them, but there has never been one quite like Alec.

Alec was the first of many things for Magnus, if anyone could believe that. It was confusing and difficult to navigate the kind of relationship they had—not even his past experiences could prepare him for Alec—but it wasn't a regrettable one, despite how it ended. Magnus convinced himself that this was probably for the best, for the both of them. Alec's first love shouldn't be someone like him anyway, he was too much of a complication for someone who just started his journey on finding himself, of accepting himself, of knowing what it's like to love someone and have them love you back. If he had been Alec's third or fourth boyfriend maybe they could have worked out, he began thinking, but quickly discarded that thought. He shouldn't be hoping. He loved him, and he loves him still, but it was over.

He looked around his loft and found it almost exactly the same as it had been before Alec came into his life. But now it felt strange without Alec's faded and tattered sweaters strewn about somewhere in his loft, it felt lonelier without Alec's presence in general. He sighed then turned and curled to the side of the sofa so he didn't see how empty his loft felt. With a snap of his fingers he turned up some music to hopefully drown out his thoughts away. But halfway into a familiar song the music came to an abrupt stop. Magnus destroyed his speaker system with a wave of his hand and decided then that he didn't like listening to music anymore.

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End file.
